It’s easy to be nasty.

It’s also easy to be weak.

If you’re nasty, you may face a lawsuit.

If you’re nasty, you create an unproductive atmosphere.

If you’re nasty, you lose talent.

If you’re nasty, you may be reborn as a bacillus.

If you’re weak, your reports will take advantage of you.

If you’re weak, your team will be unproductive.

If you’re weak, people won’t respect you and will walk.

Basically, neither position is desirable.

My friend Josephine Ornago has been writing recently about the value of courtesy and kindness.

Likewise, I’ve seen similar reflections from Martin Port, Andy Burton, Amanda Childs, and Jane Huntingdon over the last year.

Which leads me to reflect on the true meaning of soft skills.

It doesn’t mean you’re soft!

It means being kind but fair.

We’re not in business to run charities or social services.

When I was growing up (a thousand years ago) we were taught that if you take the dollar, you do the work. Simple as that.

Your ‘rights’ do not come first. Your duty does.

You’re not at work to make friends and have a jolly time (although that’s a lovely bonus when it happens). You’re at work primarily to do your job.

But we do have every right to be treated respectfully and fairly.

Even when things don’t work out, there are respectful and courteous ways of behaving. Treating others well doesn’t mean reversing or challenging tough decisions (decisions most often addressing under-performance or ‘letting someone go’).

Why be nasty? That’s the behaviour of an immature child, or a self-regarding bombast, or a fundamentally insecure egotist.

There’s usually a reason why people don’t perform adequately – most often, in my experience, that they’re simply not suited to the job.

But that doesn’t mean the job changes to suit them. It means a tactical separation for both parties… without rancour… with courtesy… but a separation nevertheless.

True managerial resilience means that we can address the tough stuff, act decisively, but never be unpleasant.

I fear there will be a lot of occasions in this rather turbulent economic period where such tough conversations will be happening.

Let’s all remember the biblical aphorism… “Do unto others what you would have them do unto you.”