It often seems so, doesn’t it?

Determined climbers of the greasy pole.

Shafting any rivals.

Merciless ambition.

Toxic manoeuvring.

Optics over substance.

And worse.

How many of us have met these people?

How many a***-lickers have enthusiastically latched onto the coat-tails of these folk?

How readily has the ambitious egotist lapped up the adulation of their yes-people?

How loud does their echo chamber become?

So what marks the difference between the delusional egotist and the effective leader?

I take the example of my friends S and S. One’s male, one’s female.

They’re both highly successful bosses.

Neither craves ego-massage. In fact, they can spot it coming down the road and they actively weed out sycophancy.

They know that – ultimately – it’s corrosive and will undermine the achievement of real business results.

What sets them apart from the crowd… from the me-merchants?

First, I would say their desire to learn and grow. They are confident in their knowledge and skills, but they know they don’t know it all. Moreover, they’re happy to admit it.

They’re not afraid of changing direction if one of their decisions is insufficiently supported by the emerging evidence.

They look for excellence in their colleagues and are not afraid of reasoned challenge.

You know the phrase: “First-rate people hire other first-rate people. Second-rate people hire third-rate people.”

They’re bored by yes-men.

After this combination of confidence and humility comes resilience.

Both have been on the receiving end of corporate bullying, poisonous undermining, gaslighting, unreasonable criticism, vicious campaigns (from disgruntled, incompetent ex-colleagues).

It’s been tough. I know because I have supported them through those times.

But they’ve always had the resilience to ‘pick themselves up, dust themselves down, start all over again’. (thank you Fred Astaire)

That’s a REALLY rare quality. To survive and thrive even in the face of adversity.

The final part of the mixture is ‘respect’.

Both of the two I’m talking to you about make sure that they deal with people respectfully.

This (as we’ve discussed before) does not make them weak.

They take all the tough decisions. But they treat people with respect.

Even down to the office cleaner. Everyone.

For instance, one was firing someone the other day.

They could have left it to one of their people to do the deed. But they didn’t.

They could have made the session an unpleasant stream of criticism. But they didn’t.

They could have found excuses for the dismissal rather than telling the hard truth. But they didn’t.

They could have done the firing and then taken no further interest in the person to help them find the best next job elsewhere. But they didn’t.

I’m sure you get my drift.

So if anyone out there wants to be a great leader, how about being humble, happy to be challenged, able to take responsibility for adversity, and respectful towards colleagues.

Even though it won’t make you any more successful or earn you any greater reward than the crowd of pathetic egotists.

Egotists…

…if you have an ounce of intelligence…

…have the bravery and boldness to prick your own bubble.