I’m not talking about the knee jerk politeness of an in-passing thank you.

Of course, we all do that.

Well, we do it if our parents brought us up properly.

And we do it if we haven’t become so incredibly pompous and self-regarding with seniority.

And we do it if we don’t confuse being a tough leader with being rude & abrasive.

But what I mean is when did you last go out of your way to express a genuine thanks.

Because it’s making that unprompted, non-knee-jerk expression of thanks that really counts… that’s really believable… and that makes a huge difference to the recipient.

It’s also important who is thanking whom.

There’s a rather unpleasant syndrome arising in business, where big bosses go out of their way to compliment and thank very junior employees, but never bother with their middle managers. In fact, it’s often the case that these middle managers are rather abused in this respect.

My reading is that it’s easy and politically correct for the top directors to indulge in this junior praise and thanks. It’s posturing.

You can imagine the thoughts: “Let’s show I have a pleasant and nurturing side by being nice to the juniors… but God forbid I ever thank the managers who are close to me in the power structure… they’re older and more experienced so they should be able to handle my (real) harsher side… (and in reality, I want to keep them in check so I’m not threatened)…”

I’d like to hear more stories of peers or near-peers thanking each other. And particularly when they don’t have a subtext or hidden agenda of wanting to get something out of the other person.

There’s a strange parallel with the world of charitable giving.

Look at the picture at the top of this ThoughtSpark.

My wife gave some money to CentrePoint.

We both give away some money to various charities each year.

In most cases, once you’ve given, you then get inundated with requests for more money.

OK – they’re often couched in terms of ‘thank you for your generous donation’, but either in the same letter or very soon thereafter, the ‘more please’ letters start.

But the CentrePoint card is completely pure… pure thanks.

It’s brilliant.

No agenda.

And that comes across as utterly genuine.

OK – we know it’s a standard mailer.

OK – they will probably ask for more money at some point.

But simply to receive something without subtext makes one warm even more to the charity and be more inclined to keep supporting them.

And, fellow marketers, you won’t be able to measure that effect… you won’t be able to track it… it’s intangible… but in my view it’s real. It’s the right thing to do.

So whether we’re talking about business managers and directors, or we’re looking at philanthropy, let’s just sometimes do the right thing… unprompted… no hidden agenda… no self-interest.

Just a genuine ‘thank you’.